The Pink Mafia : Dangerously PINK

Life as it is.

2009-10-17T20:40:00.001+08:00

I've been busy but in a good way.

I absolutely dig my job. The environment is relaxed, not tense and fast paced like a law firm. I go home on the dot, I get to attend corporate functions, meetings, prepare recommendation papers after investigation. My boss isn't a snobby know it all, she's more like a friend, and we're all one team. We brainstorm together, discuss things together, and no one is treated like they're stupid. I get a lot of benefits, allowances, and my salary is pretty alright. The best thing is I don't wake up every day dreading to go to work, dreading to submit my work to my master, dreading meetings with my master in which I will trembling with fear, hating the fact that I'm stuck in a profession I have zero interest in. That feeling of dread saps away your energy and youth. Life's too short for that.

I look forward to every day. I don't even feel sad whenever my weekend dies, I still look forward to the working week. I have time for my runs, meeting people I love, getting to know people. I love every moment of working. And that's how its supposed to be.

My convocation's over. I'm happy I have an asterisk next to my name in the convocation handbook (it means my cgpa is 3.00-3.59). Though its not a double asterisk (cgpa 3.6 above) its hell good enough for me, even FANTASTIC. All those years of hard work paid off and made worth it just by the fact I get to take my scroll along with people who are known to be smart. I know its no sign that I myself is smart, but its such an honor to be seen as one of them, at the very least. And I deserve a pat on the back from myself for working my ass off and making it this far. Alhamdulillah.

Things are going pretty well even though I didn't expect it at all. I don't dread certain things anymore. I can run but I can't hide. He knows how to find me and how to bring me back. And maybe this is it, this is where I belong.

My life is a lot simpler because I'm starting to accept certain things. And that's really what happiness is about. Contentment.

Lack of tradition

2009-09-22T13:09:00.004+08:00

My raya has always been different from everyone elses. I guess I'm just someone who's different, and its not even because I try to be. I just am.

For starters, my mom doesn't do any cooking the eve of Raya. She used to bake cookies, but now since I don't eat them as much as before, she's too lazy (and our electric oven busted). No one's busy hanging new curtains. No one's weaving any ketupat. My nenek used to cook, but now she just orders hundreds of satay and boil a bunch of nasi impit. Rendang and everything else, my aunts will bring over when they come. I don't even have a baju raya this year, its the baju kurung I wore during our Graduation Dinner. I did go shopping, but I bought work clothes.

Every morning I'll get ready and go to my Dad's place. This year my Dad's working at the school (he's a security guard there). So I pick him up there, send him to the Mosque for Eid prayers and when its over I'll pick him up again with my brother to go to my Pak Ngah's house. It's not ever a house, its a warehouse where he works. We eat and talk for a while, then I send my Dad back to the school, me and my brother goes home.

At 5:30pm I'll lace up my running shoes, and head to the park for a long run. My brother runs with me, his pace his faster but he can only run six rounds. I did 12 and my pace was steady. Took me 40 minutes but I did it. After that we pick my dad up and go to KLCC to catch a movie, then send him back to his guard post. He basically works around the clock this festive season.

The next day I meet up with my Aunt and cousins at Pavilion where she would treat me for a movie and lunch, and I'd watch my cousins shop (what else does one do when she's broke?).

I don't balik kampung (my kampung is KL anyway) I do visit relatives but limited. And I spend most of my holidays in shopping malls, movie theatres and at home in front of the PC or running in the park. That's how it is. Maybe I secretly prefer it this way. I'm dead if I get to marry a man with a traditional Malay background, because I haven't been trained to cope with the traditional way of celebrating Eid. My mom tells me I should get a foreigner, because they don't care about Eid as much as Malays do, and it suits us better (plus she's scared of Malay mother-in-laws). I'm not saying I'm some kind of snob, but its just how I was raised. I'm just too different in a bad way. I'm not used to tradition. I'm scared of criticisms about my upbringing if I end up with traditional in-laws.

Today my brother is working, my mom is watching MJ videos (please don't ask!) on her laptop in her room, and I plan on staying home doing nothing but reading the books I borrowed and surfing. I'll go for a run later in the evening.

I sure hope whoever my future husband is (if its him then I know he doesn't care at all) he would be forgiving of my lack of tradition, and his family wouldn't be too hard on me if I don't know how to prepare for eid.

Having said that, Eid Mubarak everyone! Don't eat too much!

You know your life rocks when...

2009-09-17T21:52:00.003+08:00

You know your life rocks when..

You have a fat envelope full of documents you need to complete for your new job. The fact that you get to skip dreary, stressful chambering and join a corporation (who is ready to accept you though you don't have much experience) is joy on its own.
You went to Dorothy Perkins to see if you're really a size 10 and discover you're actually a size 6-8. You didn't think it was biologically possible, and you stand in the dressing room looking in the mirror, shocked and happy at the same time.
You try on a slim fit MNG jeans tagged US 6 and it fits you
You head to Sogo with view to get yourself some new clothes for work and happily browse through the sales rack, looking for NON WHITE SHIRTS. The joy of wearing different colors and being creative with your wardrobe: Priceless!
You get to buy 4 shirts from good brands for around RM30 each, and a pair of good shoes for RM34. And your shirts are all tagged S.
You wanted to whine because your boyfriend didn't make a big fuss about you losing weight, but you realize it means he doesn't care. And you were reminded that he did love you the same when you were fat. So even when you're thin now, he doesn't love you more. He loves you the same.
You promised yourself that once you can run up and down the hill without stopping to walk you will start a marathon training program and eat a runners' diet. Today is the day you ran three times up and down the same hill. Your fitness level is optimal.
Your girlfriends make you laugh like mad, every day.
You have a stack of books to read before work starts (and you can't wait to read them).
Your room doesn't look like a pig sty (for now)

I miss doing lists like this. I'm sorry I'm so giddy nowadays. I can't help it. I'm loving life.

Love thyself

2009-09-13T22:56:00.003+08:00

If I can run every week, do hill sprints, have long easy runs, practice Pilates and yoga, or just hit the gym, I can weather anything.

I'm not going to lie and tell you it doesn't feel good to be a size 10 UK/8 US. It feels phenomenal that I'm finally in my goal size after being a 16 UK/14 US. My only complaint is that right now nothing fits me nicely and my new wardrobe is not here fast enough.

I just wanted to be in my best figure while I'm still young. And try to keep at it for as long as I can, especially after having kids. And also to be at my healthiest and fittest. To treat my body the way it deserves to be treated: With love and care.

Everytime I feel down and insecure, I look in the mirror, the scale, and the number on the measuring tape, and I'll feel better again. I know I've come a long way, and I deserve to love my body the way it is right now.

Because I'm really not that bad.

I have a week or so before I start work. Contrary to what some people might want to think and believe, I am very happy as of this moment. Sure it won't last forever, but feeling like this, right now, is more than enough for me. I'm fine with living life like this, much more happier.

Amazing and amazed

2009-09-10T01:59:00.004+08:00

Before I even managed to blog about my life as a pupil, I am ready to withdraw my petition for admission as Advocate and Solicitor.

You see, a month and a half ago a company providing water for Selangor and Kuala Lumpur (check out your water bills, the logo of two (i think!) drops of water is right on top of the bill, as header) called me for an interview. I didn't apply directly for the position. I went to the huge Career Fair at PWTC and handed my resume to them, thinking 'Oh what the hell, they won't call but I just need to get rid of all the resumes I photocopied'. It's probably the most unlikeliest place for people to find a job because the companies have to go through ~~millions~~hundreds of resumes handed carelessly without any covering letter or result transcripts. I mean, the odds were pretty low right? Or so I thought

I remember asking the guy at the booth whether they take law graduates, and he explained yes, and its rare for them to get law graduates. So I handed him my CV, and so did the person who went with me. Around a month later, they sent me an email inviting me for an interview with them. I was surprised! It was for a position I never thought I would be called for, which is Industrial Relations Executive. So I agreed to go, went through two levels of interview and one written test on how to draft a charge. There were two other candidates with me, both already working for at least 2 years. One already did her pupillage and is now practising, one is working for the Companies Commission of Malaysia.

During the interview, I did pretty ok. I couldn't answer some of the questions they asked, all related to employment law and industrial relations law. I was honest, I don't know much about it except the things I learned during my one month internship in a Human Resources Department of a company specialising in cars and motorsports (its right in front of the road leading to One Utama/The Curve, big glass building nearby TTDI). They assured me they plan on taking fresh graduates like me too, but after a month went by I didn't hear any news so I gave up on that and commenced my pupillage.

Two days ago while I was with Hana, sending my Malaysian Bar forms with her, they called me and told me they want to offer me. I was surprised! I was reminded that they told me processing takes a long time because they need to submit proposals to the Managing Director before they can hire me. I'm happy they wanted me, albeit a little doubtful whether I should continue with my pupillage or take the job. That took me quite a while but I did tell them I'll take it.

I decided to take it because (1) I never liked the idea of practising, especially NOT litigation. My Civil Procedure results were terrible! (2) The pay and benefits are pretty good for someone who has no experience in Industrial Relations (3) Its a well known company and it'll look great in my work history (4) I get to dump chambering which I was reluctant to do in the first place (5) I need to support my family so with that salary, it wouldn't be a problem (6) It's an extremely interesting field that requires my knowledge on Criminal Procedure, Evidence besides Employment law. So it won't be boring at all.

So though people might say, 'Do your chambering first! Then you are more marketable' or as my beloved Professional Practice lecturer would scold me if he knew 'LLB without chambering is like marriage without consummation!'. But I beg to differ. I would be more marketable after pupillage if I wanted a job as Legal Advisor, but that is not what I want. This job is not as dry as drafting contracts and agreements or doing endless research (though I do love doing it). It's full of action, I get to investigate claims and accusations and use my knowledge in Criminal Law. I can avoid the horror of going to court and getting yelled at by the Judge, my client, my boss. I can avoid long stressfull hours in the office. I can wear whatever I like, in whatever color I want, and not just dreary and dull black and white suits.

Practising requires interest, and without it you just feel really miserable. Sure it sounds all glam but its not for me. Plus, I plan on taking an MBA next, so a job in Industrial Relations is more appropriate.

I'm not saying it'll be a joyride, because this is a real job not training like pupillage, but I have a feeling I'll love it. The corporate world is challenging and full of surprises. Plus I need to observe my KPI just like your average person with an EPF/SOCSO account. But at the very least, I only have one person to answer to, which is my boss. No judge, no partner, no client. And that's why it's less stressful.

They wanted me to start immediately because they thought I was jobless (I didn't tell them I'm doing my pupillage) but I requested to be on duty after Raya, and they agreed. So tomorrow I'll be in court withdrawing my petition, and waving pupillage goodbye, for now. I don't know if I would do my pupillage in future, but its probably unlikely since from the day I graduated, it has been my last resort.

Allah surprises us sometimes. Maybe because I accepted whatever He wanted to give me, He decided to give me what I wanted and I can't tell Him how much I'm grateful for His Blessings. Alhamdulillah.

So here's to the end of my pupillage. For those of you who are doing it, keep going and stay strong. I may not be a suitable lawyer, but Malaysia does need lawyers like you.

I leave you with this:

My sentiments precisely.

A new dawn

2009-08-23T00:03:00.003+08:00

Growing up means accepting. And I learned that the hard way.

I wanted to escape from doing my pupilage, but Allah didn't think it was a good idea for me so He didn't allow me to. I was too stubborn to realize that. I jumped from one job to the next, attended a number of interviews, with a lot of promise but with no results. I faced rejections, but I didn't give up. I kept going. Finally when I realized I need to earn a living for my sick mom who can't work anymore, I decided to do my pupillage with a medium sized firm. And I start this Monday.

I learned so many things during my newly found independence. Like how sometimes you can't always get the things you want but it doesn't mean you're not allowed to dream. Or to never let anyone put you down and treat you less than how you deserve to be treated. How to handle difficult people in the workplace and cope with a job that makes you feel hopeless and unaccomplished. I learned all that these few months. And I am so thankful I did.

I'm looking forward to my pupillage, my master is a grumpy old chinese man. During the interview, he asked limited questions and took me on the spot after 15 minutes of very basic questions. Its not a very popular firm, not in the same league as the giants that is Skrine and Zaid Ibrahim, but its not too shabby at all. I can see chances to learn and grow there so I'm very excited and happy. I don't care if people yell at me, I'm happy I get to prove myself there. Can't wait!

As for everything else in my life, let's just say I'm moving on. I have the ones who truly care for me right by my side, and that's all that matters. Life is getting simpler, and much much more pleasant.

For now I want to focus on my pupillage, my relationship with my Creator, those closest to me and making sure my mom is happy. Everything else is taking a back seat.

Happy Ramadhan everyone! Remember to take it easy during iftar and don't go overboard. And talk to Allah more often. Insya Allah we all will achieve the greatest of blessings this month.

Complete and utter annoyance.

2009-06-30T00:45:00.005+08:00

Obviously you can see that I have no mood to blog. I'm not busy or anything, though a lot of things happened. I just don't feel like telling the whole world about my life anymore. Because I'm so tired of people who judges my love life, who likes to put labels on me, labels I do put on myself but no one else can do it if they think they're my friend.

What is it with certain people? Did I ever publicly form an opinion about your love life? I don't like people who act all 'high and mighty' just because THEY seem like they're happy and 'doing the right thing'. So that gives you the license to make other people feel bad? I've always hated people who act like they're 'holier than thou'. It annoys me to the core.

I lived my entire life in University being perceived as this 'sorority' girl. But in truth, I'm just not that type of person who fakes it. It's either I like you or I don't. If I don't, you'll know. If I don't like you, then you must have done something to tick me off in a big way. There's no such thing as being MISUNDERSTOOD, especially when you've been classmates with them for years. If that's called 'sorority' or 'bitchy' then I'm honoured. I'd rather be called that then someone who wants to be friends with everyone though in reality, some people just make their stomach churn.

I'm not complaining about my life AT ALL. So don't make me feel bad. I'm perfectly happy just the way I am. People who make me feel bad, deserves the boot.

We'll see if I ever find the mood to blog in here again. Or ever.

I'm paid to muck about all day

2009-05-15T10:09:00.003+08:00

I'm at the office and I am bored out of my wits. That's why I decide to blog!(Kak Zehan's laughing at me right now as she passed my office because she knows I'm horrifically bored. Siot je!)

I did my clearance yesterday. It was actually a quick process but one of my friends had trouble with her residential college so it was delayed a few times. I finished it up without waiting for them because I need to get back to the office after lunch. The guard cut a corner off my matric card, but its my OLD matric card! I get to keep the new one, the beloved matric card that I've had with me almost my entire student life in IIUM Gombak campus. So this means I still get to pay less for movie tickets and karaoke fees. Heaven.

And I wouldn't want to lose this matric card because it has enormous sentimental and romantic value :)

Even with the 'much dreaded' event happening soon, nothing is changing. I didn't know it was possible to add in to my feelings for you, but its increasing. Every time we argue then we make up, the gap gets smaller and smaller. What have you done to me? It's hard to force myself to hate you, when I feel the exact opposite. Whenever I'm with you, nothing else matters. Only looking into your eyes and thanking heavens you're here.

It's that bad. I can't be cured :(

I'm back :)

2009-05-10T16:14:00.002+08:00

I decided to return because I finally got the urge to redo my layout. And it's all done! I like it very much, simple and organized. Hope you do too!

So what's up? I've graduated! With a pretty alright CGPA too, though not as good as a lot of people, like Lubna's. I'm happy I made it, alive and without any problems. As of this moment, I don't think I miss law school as much as other people do. I'm just happy its over. I have plenty of options ahead of me, so I'm a bit confused. I decided to just go ahead and do my chambering so it gets out of my way. BUT I haven't properly applied yet so I haven't started. I'm working though. With a company that distributes cars. I'm their Human Resources Intern. I share a spiffy office (the building is made mostly out of glass) with the HR Junior officer. I help her with the legal aspects of HR. It's a great experience, though the pay is not as much as I would have hoped. But it sure beats sitting around at home with nothing to do but watch mindless TV/internet. Knowing me, I hate the idea of being cooped up.

For the first time ever I'm separated from the comforts of familiar faces, familiar classes and lectures and is left on my own. I'm enjoying it. I think I've been trained to embrace working life because of my previous jobs with my old firm and with his company. I like being independent, meeting new people and trying new things. I like change, in a way. Changes that makes me move forward, not backwards.

I'm thinking of applying for an MBA soon, but mom is against it. My firm manager from the old firm is encouraging me to do it asap, but I think I should get a permanent job with a stable salary first before I apply. I'm definitely doing it part time. I don't know if I should do it in IIUM, I heard its expensive. Anyway we'll see how things goes.

I have an hour or so before its time for me to go for my run. I want to nap. Roger and out.

And she will walk on by until you can see her smile

2009-03-21T19:39:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone.

I've been mind numbingly busy. I gave up Etiqa because I just couldn't cope. Puchong is too far away and I have so many other commitments.

Finals is in 2 weeks or less. In the meantime I have deadlines and tests. This is my final shot. Have to make the best out of it. Come end of April if all goes well, I am an LLB graduate, insya Allah.

I try to squeeze in as much time as possible with yoga and running. It's the two things I love doing simply because it makes me feel better about myself.

I am preparing for the one thing I know will happen and is happening at the end of this year.

I promise I won't make it hard on you. I'm trying to muster every ounce of courage, strength and faith inside of me to help me go through the toughest time of my life. Maybe we will be strangers again, because it might be the only way. I wish you love. Always and forever.

7 months to go. No more crying Mardhiah. You're a big girl now. Life will be hard, but you will walk with your head held up high, crying in pain but walking just the same. Walking, until it does not hurt, until you are smiling again.

I'll be on hiatus until further notice. Goodbye for now.

The girl who likes to run.

2009-02-22T01:56:00.002+08:00

Haven't been updating because I had no mood. I haven't received any calls from them yet. I'm so nervous and anxious you can't imagine. In the meantime my iGoogle is flooded with searches about the company. I want this really, really badly. Imagine, I take every opportunity to pray to Allah so He would let me get in. I sure hope good
news will come soon. Please pray for me if you can. I'd love you to death if you did.

Been busy, most definitely. I went to Noi's bowling event for the first time, and I had such a great time! Though I was the WORST bowler of the entire game haha.

~~My fave series of pictures:~~ (please check my Facebook for those who are on my list. My computer is acting up and I have zero patience left in me to bring myself to upload them here)

Moments like this you can't help but feel utterly gratefull you have a great bunch of friends who know how to have serious fun whatever the occasion is. Today I went to Mid Valley to hunt for a cropped cardigan that matches my dress. My friends and I have a dinner party next week, just an excuse to dress up. I found one, sadly its not cropped. It's cheap (RM30) and the right color, so I'm happy. I also bought a really pretty top with a lot of embroidery and crochet on it. So pretty couldn't resist. I ate lunch at Subway, and had a yummy juice drink at Juice Works, the stall beside the escalator near Dorothy Perkins. I managed to get rid of my Baskin and Robbins Old Fashioned Butter Pecan craving by drinking that. Went home and hunted for songs for my running playlist and when that's done, I ran. I was a bit dissappointed I couldn't finish 6 rounds, only 5, but I listened to my body. On my fifth round my chest and insides were already quivering, a stitch was about to break. I had to push myself to finish it.

What got me running, was not just the fact that I was gaining weight and I don't want to look like walrus by the time I'm 25, but also because of this:

I feel like I want to be a runner when I view these adverts. I used to HATE running because I had no patience for it. It was like a chore to me when I was an athlete, since my coach made us run as a part of our training. Now I feel like I'm no longer running to lose, but to be able to run for miles.

I do enjoy the fact that the pounds are making the much awaited exit from my body. But what thrills me the most, is to set a goal and to reach it. To push myself to complete the laps properly. And to add on more laps as I go on, every week. I only stop when my body begins to feel heavy, my chest starts to sting. When that happens I finish the last lap and cool down with a fast walk.

There's something about running, about looking at women running in advertisements and commercials for sportswear. Runners are people with determination, discipline and focus. I identify with them, because I was an athlete. Athletes think differently from people who exercise for fun or to lose weight. They love the thrill of accomplishing, the euphoria of winning, and the adrenaline after completing a successfull training session. I miss that. I want that back. I want to call myself an athlete again.

The day when I signed up for my first marathon and managed to complete it, is the day I know I've become a true runner. So that is my aim. I want to fence again too. Though it might be too late for me to enter SUKMA games (I'm too old for SUKMA), but at least I can still compete in Women's Epee during Malaysian Open.

One of the prominent signs that I've become a runner, is that after my Jurisprudence test, I quickly went back home to change into my sweats and trackies and ran six rounds. While my best friends scratch their heads wondering where did I go, I was putting on my running shoes. I just didn't care about anything else at that moment. Turns out they were planning to have dinner and dessert together and wanted me to come along. Did I regret the fact that I didn't stay and follow them? Not one bit. I would regret it more if I didn't run that day and stuffed my face with fried chicken and cake instead. This is serious business. I'm not doing it too look cool.

This best describes me:

On a cheesier note (couldn't resist): Impossible is nothing. Just do it.

My first serious job interview

2009-02-04T17:34:00.004+08:00

It's raining and I'm pretty upset I can't go out jogging today.

I purposely did not come to any of my classes today because I want to prepare for my first ever job interview.

I feel like I should not reveal the job and the company yet, unless everything is properly confirmed and I passed the first layer interview. So I'll describe it the best way that I can without mentioning the name.

I applied for a job with a major multinational power and transport company. It has branches all over the world in 70 countries, including the USA, Europe, Middle East, Asia. To illustrate how gigantic this company is, its one of the companies that made the New York City subway possible. That's how enormous it is.

They are offering fresh graduates a chance to enter their corporation as a trainee, where you will be assigned certain posts in 3 different countries, starting with Malaysia. They will train you before you are assigned. The whole program will last about 2 years and at the end of the program, you will secure a post in one of the countries they have their outlets in.

I never, in my wildest dreams, expected them to call me for an interview. But they did. After my Civil Procedure tutorial yesterday, I received a phone call from them asking when I am free for interview. I said I'm free anytime, and they arranged for 3:30pm today at the Asia Pacific region HQ. Bring my certificates. I said yes immediately. After I hung up, I was just in shock. Hana and Noi was with me asking me if that was an interview call, but for a split second I felt like screaming in disbelief. Of all people, ME? My measly CV passed the HR Departments' standards! To me, this is HUGE because its an enormous company.

So today mom sent me for the interview. I'm glad she did, she gave me useful tips. I had on a white shirt, pleated black skirt and a black blazer, white, grey and pink scarf, my mom's comfortable black pumps (she kiwi-ed it for me) and my white handbag. Mom insisted I look professional. We had trouble locating the office. The office was vast, immaculate, grand. I was early, and I saw two other people were there waiting. The receptionist smiled and said "Mardhiah right?" before I even said anything to her. They asked me to fill up a form, I did it with another lovely indian girl in the conference room while the malay guy was being interviewed. I submitted the form to the receptionist, and waited. I chatted with the girl. She was nervous. She had along her boyfriend to give moral support, I think that's sweet though mom think that it wasn't appropriate. I talked to the guy to relieve my nervousness, he's doing his CLP. The girl went first.

After a few moments a guy called me and invited me to a small room. He was my interviewer (he is HOT I tell you). He told me about the job I'm applying for, in brief and asked me to introduce myself. I didn't fall in this trap. I starting selling myself IMMEDIATELY. My fave part was when he asked about my proudest achievement. He really listened, he sort of laid back, comfortably in his seat, listening attentively. I told him, quite comfortably, about the time when I succeeded in asking the client to sign his transfer form although my boss thought I could not do it. Then when he asked if I had any questions for him, I asked about how the company reacted to certain allegations towards their company. He answered lengthily. Then he told me about the fact that there's going to be a second layer interview if I pass this one. How there will only be two candidates from Malaysia, and an overall of 17 candidates from all over the world. That day alone, there were 5 people, and I was supposed to be among the three who will be selected.

If I am accepted after the 2nd layer interview, I will be going for trainings in Switzerland, and return to Malaysia to be involved in a project for 8 months. After that, with the same position, I will be transfered to another country for another 8 months. Then I will be transferred to the final country, but with a different position. The job requires travelling. A lot of travelling.

After that I had no more questions to ask, so he led me to the door. Mom was downstairs waiting for me. SHE thinks I did a good job and is all fussy about buying me a nice, proper suit and a new pair of shoes. I think I did alright, but you'll never know. Competition is fierce.

I would be lying if I said this is my dream job. This is NOT my dream job. This is a job I never even dared to dream about. Never in my wildest dreams I would imagine myself sitting in that interview room, in the Asia Pacific headquarters of an enormous company when I submitted my CV to them. I fell in love with this glorious but intimidating company.

I have yet to hear a response from them, but I am hoping its positive. Do pray I will get the job. I'm a very simple girl. I've never travelled anywhere but to UK and that was when I was barely 5 years old. I'm raised in a family where my mother is the sole breadwinner. I've had a difficult time growing up, but I think I did alright. If I land this job, I will make the woman who gave birth to me, very very proud. She deserves a daughter who can make her proud.

I am super nervous, and I'm not sure if I will be selected. I do hope so. If I do, you'll hear more about it. So please pray I will get this. Only Allah knows how much it means to me if you do :)

What I've been up to

2009-01-30T21:30:00.003+08:00

Haven't had the time to sit and write an update. Been busy with LawGrads dinner meetings, tutorials, EAP submissions, daily jogging routine, and my weekends are spent catching up with everything else.

Let me tell you what I've been up to.

I'm going to have a Malaysian Insurance Institute examination on the 28th of February for my Takaful agent license. I am an Etiqa Maybank financial associate. I know people are sceptical to purchase Takaful (islamic insurance), but I assure you, its a necessity. You have no idea how little it takes to protect yourself from heavy losses due to unpredictable situations. It's okay if you are already a billionaire, but if you're just a regular middle class person and you have no insurance, you will seriously regret it once something happens to you and you have no one to turn to. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm basically stressing that you should have a good, fuss-free plan that can make life easier when you face undesirable situations. It won't be like normal conventional insurance where people take away your money and make it hard for you to claim. At Etiqa we know its YOUR money, we are merely trustees guarding your money, making sure that when the time comes for you to claim, we'll be there. That's my job. To make sure you get the perfect protection plan for you, with little hassle, and get your claims settled quickly. So if ever you want me to explain more, just tell me and I'll be glad to. No pressure. I'm not a salesperson, this is not selling. I don't sell you junk you don't need. I'm a representative of Etiqa Maybank to tell you about the plans that can benefit you, see if you qualify for it, get you signed up and make sure your claims are duly settled.

I attend classes every Saturday to learn more about Takaful, its benefits, how it works, why is it better than conventional insurance. Once I pass the exam and receive my license, I am authorized agent and I'll assist people in filling up their forms, etc. This is my part-time job by the way. I hope it works out alright, I'm really excited about this. I'm learning how to communicate with people, and that's really why I took the job.

Now I need to squeeze in time to study for the exam, prepare my Civil Procedure drafting, my EAP presentation, Evidence case presentation, Professional Practice drafting, my upcoming mid semester exams starting with Jurisprudence on Friday, designing for the LawGrads dinner (posters, banners, invitations, paper bags..Oh my!), outings with friends (bowling day is in two weeks and I haven't got anything green to wear, dinner in three weeks and though I have a dress I still haven't bought a shrug to go with it, and karaoke day next week I think, also fushcia day out..PHEW), jogging and yoga, weekend Takaful classes..I am really busy like mad I tell you. Right now I wish I can upload pictures I took with my Dad when we went up KLCC's Sky Bridge but I am so sore from jogging and lifting weights. I just want to eat dinner and watch Little Mosque on the Prairie, and sleep.

I so need to service my car, but I really don't have time. Today I managed to squeeze in time to create a Maybank account for my salary, and take IC sized pictures to bring tomorrow during class. I need to wake up early if I want to complete my Hatha routine (the yoga I'm doing) and eat a decent breakfast. I need to manage my time properly.

I feel wonderful lately. I think its the diet, yoga and daily jogs. I am much more calmer, less moody, have more energy, and more focused. Celebrity Fitness gym is opening soon in the newest mall in my area, Wangsa Walk, and I will definitely check out the rates when its open.

Have a great weekend everyone!

When there's a will, there's a way

2009-01-21T22:07:00.007+08:00

So I went to the Jobstreet career fair last Saturday. I went alone (doesn't this sound familiar Lubna?) but I intended to go alone, because I'm weird like that. I like doing a lot of things myself, though I don't mind company. I love my own company, where I can take my time and smile to myself while I think.

I have a rowdy bunch of girlfriends (they just make me laugh all the time with their goofy-ness), a brother who likes to talk to me non-stop about his problems (he would spend the whole trip talking about himself, I don't mind of course), a mother who would never miss an opportunity to talk to me about Gaza, or politics (mainly to poke fun at Anwar Ibrahim LMAO and to ramble about Obama), or cooking (she makes the best pizzas, lasagnas, and stuffed roast chicken. SERIOUSLY. She's planning to sell some too!), or her garden (she grows her own basil), or moan about my grandma or brother, and Dad who asks silly questions most of the time. And let's not forget the guy who does all the talking if we see each other, mainly because I prefer him to do all the talking. I love them and their conversations, because without those my life would be pretty much mundane. But a girl's gotta have some time for herself too. I have to listen to my own thoughts, and think them through.

That's why if I have certain things I want to do, like an errand or shopping or visiting a fair during the weekends, I like to go alone. I feel at peace with myself during these times. Jogging alone is one of my fave things to do every day, so is yoga every morning. I'm comfortable with my own company, and I like to kick back and hang out with myself during the weekends.

Anyway, I was happy with the fair. It's not like the Legal Career Fair, where law firms and major corporations having legal departments gather to showcase their profiles for only one target audience: The legal fraternity. Jobstreet attracts all types of companies, and offers a variety of positions in different fields. The legal fair would be very beneficial of course, if you plan on chambering after graduation and you are on the hunt for suitable legal firms or are thinking about joining the legal department of a major corporation. I'm looking for other positions I can apply for without being confined to the legal field. I like to diversify my talents and abilities. I learned this from Mom, because she's the most versatile employee I know (her qualifications are in the field of Zoology and Anatomy, but she worked as a journalist, a PR officer for SUHAKAM, writer for an Islamic media company). She's a very strong and independent person, versatile and always up for new things. Mom is more like a big sister to me.

For those who knew me well, knew about what was my ambition since I was in middle school, they would go: But Mardhiah, I thought being a lawyer was your DREAM? It was. Not anymore. Maybe I can manage to persuade myself to go for chambering, and get called to the Bar. And maybe spend a few years being a Legal Assistant. But during the whole time I would be on the edge of my seat waiting for better offers from companies that can help me move forward, away from the legal field, into the real world of business. I talked to some people from a number of companies, they told me I can apply even if I have an LLB, since they say, anyone can do marketing and human resources and sales. So I find that very appealing. I have my eye on a few companies, I gave them copies of my resumes after enquiring them if they think I would be a suitable candidate. They were all very helpful. Even if I didn't manage to secure a job with them, they said I can apply later on when I am more experienced. I signed up for a course, to get a license for something (don't want to tell you yet at the moment) and if I pass the exam and get the license, I have another career option which sounds very rewarding to me.

All in all, there was absolutely no legal firms, but I had a wonderfull time exploring the variety of companies, widened my horizon a bit. I was reassured because now I know I'm not doomed to the very stressfull career of a lawyer. The big put off is the fact that I have to work my ass off for the firm, for other people, and it requires so much of my time. I want to learn to be independent and let people work for ME rather than the other way around.

Two companies offered me their business cards, one guy (he's my future boss if I pass the exam this February) was very helpful and nice, even put my name and number in his cellphone so that he can directly contact me to arrange for the short courses before the exam. The courses will be held on Saturdays. I won't have such a free weekend, but I think I'm going to enjoy it, insya Allah. I look forward to this, there's so much I can learn.

It's nothing huge of course, I'm sure most of you would think it's not your cup of tea. To me its a chance to expand my talents. And I'm not snobby to say its beneath me, I like being versatile. I like to start from the bottom and build my way up.

Now I have to study for the exam, I have the book with me already. I hope its not that hard! I already have a lot of things to do, I'm kind of worried I won't have time but I have to make time. Insya Allah. When there's a will, there's always a way.

Walk like an Egyptian

2009-01-16T22:42:00.004+08:00

I'm watching American Idol at 8tv right now. I love the auditions! They have a LOT of crazy ass people thinking they can sing, its fun to hear the snarky comments by Simon and how they react after that. I love Jason Castro! This season his brother is auditioning so he came to gave support. His brother sounds great but Jason is definitely cuter *giggles*

Speaking of crazy people:

"All the old paintings on the tombs
They do the sand dance don't you know
If they move too quick (oh whey oh)
They're falling down like a domino

All the bazaar men by the Nile
They got the money on a bet
Gold crocodiles (oh whey oh)
They snap their teeth on your cigarette

Foreign types with the hookah pipes say
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh
Walk like an Egyptian"

These were taken inside The Gardens' female toilet. Noi and her crazy ideas! While we were snapping and posing away against the wall of a female bathroom, the lady who cleans the toilets sat and watched us, amused :D We skipped Civil Procedure extra class because we took our time singing inside the car (Bonnie Tyler, Backstreet Boys, The Script) and by the time we reached Uni it was 8:40pm.

For those who keep on saying "Why are you taking EAP (English for Academic Purposes) during your final semester? You're going to be busy!" I have news for you:

I don't have to go to the mass lectures anymore! The new system allows us to access the materials through e-learning, no more 6 hours of classes! I just have to attend the tutorials woohoo! Are you jealous or are you jealous? *skips happily*

Speaking about busy, I didn't want to take the Head of Publicity of Promotion for the Graduation Dinner Committee board because I want to relax during my final semester.

But it seems like people didn't actually let me choose. I know everyone means well, I just wish they would at least ask me if I wanted it first before thrusting me this job. Although I don't have to attend mass lectures anymore, I still have to log in the e-learning system and complete my term paper. I've been active in extra-curricular work since I was in my first year, and I never did get to enjoy a work-free semester. That's why I was upset when I found out I was nominated and voted though I purposely did not come. Anyway it's okay guys, I won't bail out of this (I do wish I could). I know its now my duty, and I will try my best to carry it out. And since Noi is the Programme Manager, as a friend it is my duty to her as well.

Because that's what friends are for!

I realized a few things lately:

1) I no longer watch soaps (One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl bla bla bla). I only watch Little Mosque on the Prairie and ThreadBanger videos on Youtube.

2) I stopped whining to my best friends about my problems.

3) I am always prepared to let things go and move on, when its time, and never look back until Allah tells me "This is it, Mardhiah. This is what you deserve"

4) I no longer try hard to pretend I like someone when I think they're fake and pretentious. Why waste time?

5) My life is full of irony and cruel coincidences

6) Hana and me have been best friends for 10 years now and not a single serious row have occured between us.

7) People who brag about having boyfriends, thinking it makes them have a life, usually are huge insecure losers who whine about their state of singledom when it did not work out. Like its the worst thing that can ever happen *rolls eyes*

8) Certain people make me laugh out loud because they try so hard but they just look like an idiot.

9) I still have a lot of my PTPN loan in the bank because of my spending habits. I plan to have some money left when I finish my studies so I can use them in emergencies.

10) I feel weird if I don't go jogging for more than a day.

And that, is enough for now.

For the sake of Humanity, you lying assholes.

2009-01-11T22:18:00.004+08:00

Mom was telling me about this video she posted in her blog while I was shoving in morsels of lasagna in my mouth during dinner (which was yummy and not to mention very fatty) so I went to check it out.

It's definitely the best reporting on Gaza. Kudos to Alex Thompson of Channel 4 for nailing it square on Israeli official's arrogant and lying heads.

I dare you to watch!

Why do you keep on saying you want to work with the Red Cross but you are blocking their ambulance from giving medical attention to the injured Palestinians? He is lying and not answering Alex's questions (notice how rapidly he blinks? Tell tale signs of a liar. And I HATE LIARS.)

You can never call yourself a human being, if you had no sense of humanity. No sense of mercy. If humans can behave so cruelly towards their own kind, fellow human beings, then I am ashamed I am a human being. The world curses you Israel, and is praying hard for the Palestinians. If there's one thing you should learn by now about Muslims, is that they are never afraid to die, because they know their God is with them.

Don't lose out on hope. Keep praying, because we all know Allah is listening.

When I decide to leave you

2009-01-08T21:30:00.001+08:00

Don't ever think that if one day I have to bring myself to leave you, it means I don't love you anymore.

You will never know how much I love you, because I will never tell you. I hardly demand you to know. Maybe one day you will find out for yourself, if you wish to know.

This is what leaving means to me. To you it means this person does not care for you anymore, but to me it means giving up the person I love very much because I want the best for him. Because I don't want to stand in his way making him feel guilty when he deserves nothing less than pure happiness. Because I'd rather, much much rather suffer because I miss him so much than to selfishly stay when it is hard for him.

Everything I ever did for you, I did it without asking for anything in return. You don't have to pay me back, I never expected you to. I always hide my tears away from you because I hate to see you worry. I hate to burden you with my heartaches and fears.

I don't know what happiness means to you, but I pray you will get it and keep it with you your entire life.

Please know that if the time comes for me to let you go, all it means is I am giving up my own happiness, so you will be able to fully enjoy yours.

So if I ever meant anything to you, please promise me you will be happy, and you will take care of those you love dearly. That is all I ask from you.

Leaving means I love you and you deserve the best, and I know the best is not me.

Futsal and friends

2009-01-03T19:52:00.003+08:00

So we went to play futsal on Friday. Was supposed to be me and Hana's birthday celebration thing. We were LONG overdue because of various reasons, but finally it happened. Pizza, futsal, and cake. And 8 very loud and happy girls of course. I didn't have much pictures with me, so let's just make do with what Darla has in her memory card.

We ate pizza first before kicking the ball around. Yum

I am team Pink (no prizes for that) and Hana's team blue playing against each other. After a while everyone got tired so we just played just for fun. Noi scored one goal for MY team though! And I forgot who scored for Hana's team but both teams got one goal each. Noi made these awesome ribbons for us to wear to indicate our team color. I wore it around my head like a tribal chief :D I reek in soccer, honestly. But I had fun and it was a good workout. I can see my stamina improving a lot now, I am no longer easily tired.

This is me being the idiot who doesn't know how to kick a football

The Pink Team! (We were supposed to be serious because that's the expression of soccer players in their team pictures but we couldn't stop laughing. Everytime I successfully made a serious face Noi/Aufa/Sheyfah would twitch or giggle and I would laugh! )

The Blue Team! (Also laughed too hard during attempts to be serious. It looks like Erma is retching in irritation in the 2nd picture, I wonder why *winks*)

After running around, we had cake at Old Town. Well they didn't sell cake obviously but we bought drinks and ate the cake there. It wasn't too sweet, and it was fluffy. I like it!

These girls just make me laugh and laugh. They perfectly defined the word "Girls just want to have fun". Uni life would be so much more duller without them gossiping, laughing and teasing. The #1 Party Planner always have creative ideas to jazz up any occasion. Without our dear Noi, we would all be doing the same thing: Lunch/Movie. She brought in a host of activities that are always well planned (and color coded) for us to just have a good time. I guess our social lives don't really have the glam factor but we do have a lot of clean fun. So here's to a fun-filled friendship!

The Twilight Phenomenon

2009-01-02T09:12:00.007+08:00

Happy New Year and all that shiznits. I'm not listing down my resolution here because I don't have one.

I am a very opinionated person. I know my opinions vary from others, but I like to voice it out anyway. So I always write about what I think, be it political or anything else.

Like how much I'm laughing at Pakatan Rakyat's hiccups at the moment. And how I hate Angelina Jolie and pity Jennifer Anniston though I actually liked the former and hated the latter before Brad went off with Angie. Or how I think Crocs are hideous (the ORIGINAL crocs) and should be burned no matter how comfortable they are. And ultimately, how much I hate Twilight. Which is what I am writing about today.

WARNING! This is an Anti-Twilight Post. Please exit yourself if you are a fan of the series and the movie. I am entitled to MY opinion, as you are entitled to yours. This is MY blog so I can say whatever I want. This is NOT A PERSONAL attack against the Twilight fans, but rather an observation and an opinion. If you think you would like me less or take it personally, I strongly suggest you to leave this entry and come again for the next one. If you still continue reading, then don't say I didn't warn you. I would have used a cut but it didn't work and I'm too lazy to fix it. Maybe later I'll do it.

Let me sum up the whole thing for you
A 17 year old girl moves to a town called Forks to live with her dad, meets a very handsome boy who happens to be a vampire. *insert fluff about love* The end. Now you've read the entire book! In just one sentence.

So you may ask, did you read the whole series? Sadly, no. I can't finish it. I tried reading Twilight (the first book) and I honestly fell asleep because it was super boring after reaching page 21. I can't bear to finish it. I only read parts of it, and that's enough to make me form my current opinion.

About the movie, I really think it cannot be any better than the book. So I have no desire to spend my money for it. Maybe I would BORROW a pirated copy of it or something just for laughs.

Reasons why I hate it and the whole hype about it:

1) "His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal."

Vampires. Sparkling. Like. Diamonds. Tadaa:

It's just wrong. It's even sad that Stephenie Meyer is so..delusional.

2) The books are the crappiest I've ever came across. I read the first 5 pages (ohoo don't worry I didn't spend precious money on the crap book, I downloaded the .pdf file via Ares) and I couldn't bear to continue (besides it making me fall asleep after a few pages..ohmigodboringcrapola). Why?

a) Purple proses (the word sparkle, glitter, are the same thing. She's REPEATING IT shamelessly to lengthen the book. This is exactly why I fell asleep reading it)

b) Too much elaboration on how Edward sparkle (as mentioned before) in the sun and how godly handsome he is. In fact, Stephenie Meyer drags the whole thing up to 500 pages! The relationship is sooo shallow and superficial, Bella almost NEVER referred to Edward's personality, but aptly describes his physical attributes. Here is a list of how many times Stephenie Meyer used to describe Edward from Bella's point of view:

(taken from The Anti Twilight Movement)
♣Hard- 109
♣Angel- 84
♣Cold- 65
♣Perfect - 59
♣White- 52
♣Soft- 48
♣Beautiful- 36
♣Cool- 33
♣Pale- 30
♣Stone- 29
♣Marble- 9
♣Dazzling- 8
♣Wry- 6
♣Statue- 7
♣Flawless- 6
♣Godlike- 6
♣Adonis- 2

What a DEEP RELATIONSHIP.

c) How Bella is such a bad example for young women.

- Falls in love with Edward after DAYS of meeting him

- Is mean to people who are nice to her. She's a new girl, people are nice to new girls. Why does she have to be mean? Well simple: They don't sparkle in the sun *rolls eyes*

- Wants to kill herself because Edward left her by jumping off the cliff.

- Has no life. No personality. Basically her life is EDWARD. OBSESSED with him.

- Lets Edward abuse her emotionally and physically because he loves her.

d) How abusive their so-called love relationship is:
Examples:
(taken from The Anti Twilight Movement)
-Edward is jealous of Jacob, to the tune of actively preventing her from having even a friendship with him. Abuse red flag number one.

-He bribes his sister to put Bella under house arrest while he is gone, so as to keep her under a watchful eye.

-Edward isolates Bella from her friends, and encourages her to leave them, calling them "shallow", then abandons her. At that time, he tells her "you aren't good enough", in blatant disregard for how this is going to hurt her. In abandoning her, he forbids her best friend- Alice- from seeing her.

-"I couldn't live without you." Edward attempts suicide over Bella, telling her beforehand that he's planning on doing so. Control tactic.

-Edward encourages Bella to lie to her father about seeing him, and furthermore sneaks around Charlie's back in order to see Bella after curfew and before Charlie knew about the relationship.

-Edward frightens Bella unnecessarily with his vampirism but does not take steps to ensure her safety. He constantly reminds her that if he wanted to, he could crush her, and she wouldn't have a chance.

-Edward does not allow Bella to make her own decisions or to disagree with him. In the beginning of New Moon, Edward hides, takes, or destroys all her possessions that are associated with him.

-Edward takes Bella's belongings that are associated with him in an effort to control her healing process. But Bella is in charge of how she deals with the loss.

-Edward watches Bella while she sleeps (during entire nights, weeks at a time). Even before Bella is aware that he is doing so. A violation of privacy.

Don't say he did that because he loves her. Or he apologizes afterwards so its okay. IT DOESN'T MATTER. He did it anyway, and that's being abusive. Boyfriends make mistakes but no girl should ever let them control their life and slap them around like the way Edward does. No matter how godly handsome he is.

e) The fact that the author abuses the Thesaurus and repeats the word CHAGRIN. I have no idea what chagrin means and I think its a bad word to use. It's like you want to appear intelligent so you use a word you yourself don't quite understand just to impress other people who have no idea what you're talking about.

3) The annoying die hard fans who just doesn't get it. You like it? Fine, but I don't. And I am making it known. So don't go on stopping me, I have my own opinions too you know. I call them Twitards.

Example:
i) The 13-15 year old overly excited fans:

OMGGGG!!1111!!!!1 YOU SUX! TWILGHT IS DA BEST BOOK IN DA WURLD!! WTF???!! IF YOU HATE IT DUN READ IT ASSHOLEZ!! FROM ISABELLA EDWARD CULLEN. This is MY example, now read the ramblins of a REAL rabid fan:
(taken from The Anti Twilight Movement)

- Kaylee Pechia wrote:

Twilight is one of my favrote books so im not going in on that fuckin shit you just dont go up to fuckin ppl that you dont even know ok it dosent make you cool or shit like that so id fuckin stop.Everyone is going to hate you cuz of this so many ppl like twilight so id just stop this shit you have going on here or ill just fuckin block you you fuckin POSER Well for how many ppl that like that book there going to be alot of fuckin ppl hatein you guys expectialy me.And expressing your opinions you should really go talk to ppl you do know and not go around telling ppl shit that you ahte fuckin twilight in shit yah its your option but dont go around saying yah were trying to get ppl to hate fuckin twilight. HOW CAN THIS FUCKIN HATE MAIL SHIT MAKE YOU LAFF EVERYONE ON HERE PARCTICLY HATES YOU I DONT GET WHY YOUR DOING THIS GOING AROUND AND ADDING PPL YOU DONT EVEN FUCKIN KNOW WHATS UP WITH THAT? IF YOU WNAT PPL TO HATE YOU WELL YOU NEED TO GET IN THE FUCKIN REALY WORLD PPL CUZ SERYOUSLY SOON YOUR NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY FUCKIN FRIENDS AND YOUR GOING TO WISH THAT YOU NEVER EVEN STARTED THIS SHIT YOU NEED TO GET A FUCKIN LIFE AND GO TO GO TO HELL BITCH Yah shure its great to you but not to other ppl the you know like twilight and go send them this shit you prob like twilight and you dont want to fuckin admit it cuz youv already started your own site and your prob just afride to go into the realy world. YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO GET A FUCKIN LIFE

(isn't this sad? I really don't even understand what she's saying. Whatever happened to respect of one's opinion? And the logic? We like it so much thats why we started a site on hating it? What??)

ii) The slightly more mature 17 and above year olds who are getting slightly defensive:

It's just a book, why do you have to be so political about it!

- Well if its just a book then why are so emotional when someone disses it??

iii) The scoffing smart-ass defending it by pointing out the obvious: It's a fictional character, of course its not logical.

- Duh. It's called FICTION. Do you think I'm two yeard old? And let me introduce you to character criticism!

iv) The angry fan:
WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK!

- Well I do. And the rest of the people who think Twilight is trash do.

v) The superior fan:

You just don't get it. I'm sorry if you're so miserable and have lack of imagination. I'm sorry you're incapable of falling in love and would never feel how it feels like to be in love like Edward and Bella feels.

- So you call that love? And you tell ME I am incapable just because I recognize abusive relationships when I see it? We're in serious trouble folks

..among others. I am perfectly fine with fans. But I don't like people who don't allow me to say I hate it just because they love it. I would never diss Twilight in front of my friends who love them because I respect them. But I have my own opinion on Twilight, and I want it to be heard. What's wrong with that? You can diss the things I love, like Elle Woods or Bridget Jones or Mark Darcy or Harry Potter. I would laugh it off and still love them anyway. I always laugh at Harry Potter haters and those who make fun of us fans. It's all in good fun.

4) It is compared to J.K Rowling's exceptional series, Harry Potter. How could you insult JKR like that! Can you honestly say this Young Adult fiction about vampire-human romance is as good as (or even BETTER) than JKR's fiction about fighting evil, believing in yourself, standing up for your friends, sacrificing to rescue other people?? Twilight has only one message to me: I will never be as stupid as Bella, ever.

5) Edward Cullen is now the perfect man. Everyone wants an Edward. Why again? What's so perfect about a 107 year old vampire who has 'diamonds' embedded on his face and dates a 17 year old? What's so perfect about a handsome man who uses all kinds of control tactics to abuse and manipulate the poor girl? Guys, don't worry if your gf starts comparing you to Edward. You are being a REAL MAN because you respect her and you would never abuse her. If she seriously cannot see that, you better think about your options.

6) Isabella Swan is now the perfect woman. She is a whiny teenager with hormones raging, what is so perfect about this? She is COMPLETELY anti-feminist (there is NOTHING WRONG with being a feminist, feminism is about choices, and in Islam women are given choices) and a horrible, horrible role model for teens.

It's not just ME who thinks so. There are a lot websites and forums discussing this phenomenon. And we're not the only ones. Even the ACTOR WHO PLAYS EDWARD THINKS IS BULLSHIT. Just look at these:

i) What he thinks of the book
"When you read the book," says Pattinson, looking appropriately pallid and interesting even without makeup, "it's like, 'Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.' I mean, every line is like that. He's the most ridiculous person who's so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn't do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that's how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he's a 108-year-old virgin so he's obviously got some issues there."
-I love you Rob. I love your logic.

ii) Interviews. Highly recommend you to watch and listen to what he has to say. He should know, he's the one playing Edward. He's potraying a character he needs to understand first.

a)He's trying hard to be diplomatic about it, but you can tell he hates the character.

"He wants to kill her everyday, and she's like 'I don't care, I love you' There's definitely something wrong with her!"

b)This is my fave. He really thinks Smeyer is nuts.

"When I read it, I was convinced that Stephenie was convinced she was Bella and it wasn't supposed to be published. It's like reading a sexual fantasy..I'm convinced Stephenie Meyer is MAD..it's kinda like a SICK PLEASURE"

Whoa. I'm speechless!

So that's why I don't think Twilight deserves the spotlight its getting. I'm not going to ruin it for those who love the whole thing, thats why I warned them to not read this post. But I feel like I should say this at least in my own blog.

If you feel like I'm saying you're an idiot for liking this series or the movie, I'm sorry I didn't mean to insult you. But I never said anything along that lines, I just don't like it, and you're really entitled to the things that make you happy. I don't want to make you feel miserable because of this, my intention is just to criticize the entire thing, excluding genuine fans who respect my opinion.

Distractions

2008-12-29T00:01:00.006+08:00

I've been busy collecting supplies for my room transformation project. As usual being a fickle minded Gemini, I decided to leave my sewing projects for a while and concentrate on DIY decor. I'm currently trying to complete my CD jewel cases wall art. I successfully collected all the materials but I want to take my time finding or making the things to put inside the frames.

I managed to find chalkboard spray paint, glue gun and velcro all at one place: Ace Hardware. It's hard to find wall decals, I only found boring cartoony ones. I wanted plain black sheets so I can cut-out to my heart's content. Have no idea where can I get those.

What's left on my list:
1) Modge Podge glue and sealant. I don't even know if its available in Malaysia.
2) Plain or painted IKEA frames.
3) Paint in pretty colors. I guess wall paint will do.
4) Pretty wrapping paper.
5) Printing photos of me and my friends, as well as my fave art pieces.
6) Two types of fabric for my two layer curtains.
7) Fairy lights in plain white.

I have only one goal: Turning my room into my personal heaven filled with the things I love.

I was dumb enough to NOT realize that tomorrow is a holiday (OMG what a loser!) so I didn't plan what to do tomorrow. So luckily I have a lot to do so I'm going to gather the things on my list tomorrow and complete my wall art project at least.

And when its finished (no idea when, I'm taking my time )? Pictures of course! This is fun!

Darla and me (Noi took this while we were waiting for our food)

I feel like showing you what I made previously for someone. I'm proud of them because I painted them myself. But it's not fabulous. Just made with a lot of love. Pardon the quality of the pictures, I didn't have Darla with me at that time. And of course forget about re-taking the picture, since I already gave it to the person I made it for.

This one took me the longest because I had to copy the design from paper. It's not just a black dragon on a red background actually. If you're clever you might know what it is. I'm not good at drawing, as you can see, but I think I did an okay job.

Leaves in two different shades of green. I enjoyed painting the outline. Makes it stand out.

I used yellow paint, and topped it off with gold paint for the sunny, shiny effect. I wanted to add clouds, but I was afraid it would look busy.

Obviously I used IKEA frames (courtesy of Najia, I was super lazy to actually go to IKEA just to get the frames so I asked her to buy them for me) that were blank and unvarnished so I can paint the designs myself. I bought a set of paint for wood, in about 9 colors. And printed out pictures of people that mattered most to the person I gave it to. I had fun doing them. And I heard the frames are residing happily in his room.

These didn't cost me a lot. I didn't have a lot of money to splurge so I decided to do it myself. I love making things for people, because its one of a kind and truly personal. And saves a lot of money too.

I want to make a quilt as a wedding present. I think its perfect for newly weds. A cosy, happy quilt for happiness and warmth. I have yet to decide on color scheme, but I think I'll go for plaids rather than prints. In an array of happy colors. I hope I can follow through. Hopefully my ancient sewing machine can stand it. Let's pray I can get a new machine as soon as possible.

You can see how DIY projects can distract me from feeling the emotions I SHOULD feel and replace it with something totally unexpected.

Comfort food equals to Chilis!

2008-12-26T00:05:00.003+08:00

These last few days had been all over the place. I finally sorted out my final schedule and registered everything by yesterday. Now all that is left is to actually finish my final courses. What a semester it will be.

My schedule is going to take its toll on me next week. My Tuesdays and Thursdays will be jam packed from 8am up to 6pm (inclusive of a 3 hour break from lunchtime to 4pm). All thanks to EAP. Great! Whatever, what's certain for now is I am likely to graduate this semester and that is good enough for me.

I absolutely love Chilis. Its my fave restaurant because of the bottomless drinks, the bottomless corn chips, the exceptionally yummy main dishes with gigantic portions and the friendly staff just makes it a great place to eat. Did I mention the prices are super reasonable? Yesterday Hana, Noi and me decided to go there for a dinner just because we missed it.

I ate the Spaghetti Chicken. Simply delicious. And of course I keep on refilling my Apple juice and the corn chips. I so love it there. Screw fine dining and bring me to Chilis anytime!

I am on mission. I'm hunting for chalkboard paint, decals, decoupage glue and a lot of other craft and hardware supplies to be used to perk up my room. Let's face it, I won't be able to throw out the boring furniture in my room and get functional IKEA furniture (and a Janome sewing machine & serger for that matter. I SO WANT the two machines!) so better use my creativity. I've figured out how to turn jewel CD cases to funky wall frames to put pictures in. I can use tape cases too. Great way to recycle! I'm oozing with ideas.

I've got a follower for my blog. I think its Lyn. If you're reading Lyn, thanks for adding me to your 'Blogs I follow' list! I'm soo honoured (dorky I know haha)

The moments of weakness and pain

2008-12-23T07:05:00.004+08:00

Despite of how happy I was in my last entry, today I don't feel so dandy.

I have moments when I feel like the world is against me, and the scars in my heart are throbbing. I always try my hardest to push away every ache, suppress every tear with activity. It makes me forget. It isn't easy to, to be honest, if you know what I'm going through. But I seek my comfort and solace in knowing that Allah will always be there for me, will always remember the good deeds I've done for other people, and will repay it tenfolds by blessing my life. Sometimes when I cry alone in my room, desperately clinging on every bit of sanity I can muster, I can feel a sense of warmth wrapping me like a blanket, telling me I'll be fine and He's always here to make me feel worthy.

I have to always remember, He will never ask me to do something I can never do. If He is testing me the hardest way possible, its is a sign that He has confidence I'll be able to pull through, that my faith is strong enough to handle this, that He wants me to be closer. He is closests to us when we are at our worst.

So this poem reminds me that I can never do wrong if I turn to Him in my moments of weakness and pain. It doesn't take much concentration to understand the poem. The simplicity is strong enough to make me get up, wipe my tears away and start my day with a smile.

When things are down
And you are out of your mind
Remember just remember
Allah is The Kind.

When your life is in darkness
And nothing is right
Remember just remember
Through the darkness,
Allah is The Light.

When nothing makes sense
And your heading for demise
Remember just remember
It doesn't make sense, but Allah is The Wise.

When times are troubled
And no one seems to care
Remember just remember
Allah won't hurt you, He is The Fair.

When your heart is breaking
And your pain makes you fall
Remember just remember Allah Sees it all.

When you are weak
And the road seems long
Remember just remember
Seek strength from The Strong.

When life is a burden
And everything is unstable
Remember just remember
Allah is The Able.

When the way is cloudy
And there is no one by your side
Remember just remember
Allah is The Only Guide.

When no one wants to listen
Or is willing to lend an ear
Remember just remember
Allah is always ready to hear.

When you are poor and penniless
And you are stuck in a niche
Remember just remember
Allah is The Rich.

When you are down in your misery
And there is nowhere to run
Remember just remember
You can always run to The One.

And when your scars are hurting
And your heart is in fear
Remember just remember
Allah is really here.

Taken from: Islamic Poetry

First day was alright. I missed my friends. Spent my free gossiping and giggling with them. They make me sane and keep me calm.

ps: Its strange how people sometimes create stories in blogs like it really happened when in truth it sounds too good to be true. Its your blog you know, you should be honest and say only the things that really happened. It's pathetic that they have the need to appear perfect just so they can impress people. Sometimes you think you won't get caught, but people are not as dim witted as you think. Even if they are strangers. What more if they actually know you

I'm so happy you love it.

2008-12-22T02:52:00.003+08:00

I spent my Sunday redesigning his website, uploading it, and doing some translation work.

Yep. Basically I was working. I just wanted to finish his site before the semester starts tomorrow. He didn't force me or whatever, but I needed to do it as soon as possible.

And I'm very happy to know he loves the new design. I'm quite happy with it too.

Here are the screen caps if you're interested.

He adores the color so much he didn't even wait till I finish uploading, he immediately called me after seeing it halfway uploaded (no header images etc) and gushed on how he loves the color. That's really, really worth all my effort in designing it for him. He wants to get me something, but I vehemently refused. Honestly, the simple conversation we just had about him loving the color and the fonts and how it looks so much better than my last layout REALLY lifted off the hours of straining in front of the monitor refusing to budge until it is perfect.

I like the color combinations too. I even added a web form for his visitors to fill in if they have any questions they want to ask him and I added a Javascript lightbox feature so that the models' pictures can be viewed in a very elegant way. Sorry I'm getting a bit repetitive, I'm just happy he loves it!

While I uploaded his site (my internet is super slow today), I translated an English speech to Malay. My mom gave me the job, her friend wanted someone who can translate, so she thought I could do it. They're paying me of course. And I will have to brush up on my Malay after this, because they're planning to give me more jobs IF they like my translated speech. Insya Allah.

Tomorrow (or today technically) is the first day of the semester. I don't really dread it, I've always been neutral when it comes to starting semesters. I just feel sad that its my last semester. I love my university and I'm going to miss it very much.

Better go to sleep now. I'm meeting Hana at 8:15am.

Those dancing days

2008-12-17T19:30:00.003+08:00

PHEW. Finally I made the codes work!

I spent hours fixing the code. Somehow it didn't align properly in Opera (that's what I'm using) but hopefully it looks fine in all browsers now since the CSS is fixed for both IE and Firefox.

I got bored of my Dreams Collide layout (though I adore the song to death) and I'm having a designer's block for designing his site. I just can't seem to get his header image right, with his fave color. ARGH! Anyway this version features the song Hitten by The Dancing Days, my fave twee band at the moment.

If you know me, you'd know that I do love pink, but I don't wear it all the time. I always have something pink with me, like Elle my phone or Darla my Olympus digital camera. So yes the blog name is The Pink Mafia, but it won't always be in pink. It will however, always be feisty. Just like the Mob.

Unlike some people, I'm too lazy to go out this holidays. Believe it or not, I haven't watched a single DVD or movie during this one month holiday. I don't even have the desire to watch. And yes I haven't watched Twilight. Not really having any urge to. I'm loving DIY videos at the moment. I now know how to upholster! Too bad there's no chair or sofa around for me to try it myself, or else I'd put that knowledge to use!

I'm still doing my quilting. I decided to make a hot water bottle cosy with the orange fabric since I use them everytime I have cramps. It's taking me a long time because I hand sew, I don't know how to use a machine to stitch the pieces together. Plus I have to cut the hexagon pattern for every quilt block. Like this:

I have yet to count how many blocks I need, because I just wanted to do a few and sew them together to see if I can get the hang of it. Now that I know precisely what I'm making I will do the blocks in a short while.

Anyway the first Quilt block flower I made looks like this:

And this is how the back looks like.

I'm using the technique they call English paper piecing. Basically you cut the block pattern that's drawn on a stiff card/paper and do the same for the fabric but leave about a cm of seam allowance. Then you stitch it loosely without knotting to fold the fabric edges to place. Then when all your blocks and fabric are securely sewn together you stitch the sides, attaching different blocks with each other, forming a shape. When you're done, you take off the paper/card.

It's really easy, but requires patience and detail. If you hate these two things, then you won't enjoy quilting. I love doing it while I put on some twee and lo-fi. Keeps me in a cheery mood. Plays a big role in distracting me too.

I hate my room's ceiling lamps. I'm now sitting in the dark because of it! It went bust last night while I was watching my mini TV. I can't sew at night and it's driving me crazy!

I wish I lived in the States. They have the best flea markets, thrift stores and the good ol' Goodwill. Oh and their fabrics are just so pretty. Here everything cheap is ugly, but thankfully not all the time if you have a good eye. I've been raiding Nagoya's scrap bin every time I come there. I've bought pretty scraps for RM2-RM10, and I'm about to use one of the fushcia scraps I bought to make a nice make-up case. I'll show you when its done. It's going to look very me. I'm going to finish that quicker than the quilt, because its machine sewing.

My room is pitch black now. I am itching to get back to my sewing, so I'm going to my mom's room. Later

A designing spark

2008-12-15T19:29:00.000+08:00

I've been sleeping a lot lately because I have zero mood to do anything but that. But I did do something I promised him earlier, that is uploading the site I designed for him. A site that showcases his models and talents and to attract clients who want his services.

At first I was happy with the design, its simple and clean. And I thought he couldn't handle more. But after I uploaded it to his new paid domain I thought, hey, why not do something that has 'me' written all over it. I sure as hell can do better than this boring and simple layout:

Note: The multiple question marks is the name of his casting service. I don't want to reveal it here, sorry.

So I'm going to do another design without him saying he would like a new one (he's too nice to say it to my face anyway). I'm thinking putting up extras he didn't even know existed. A domain deserve the best, so I'm giving him the best of my web designing ability.

And most definitely something that spells out Me all over it. My Adobe Photoshop 7.0 is open, my Frontpage is also ready for some serious coding, I've got my metapad on for the CSS..I'm doing his website the whole night until my inner designer says its perfect. Once I've got the designer's bug I can't stop!

I sure hope it will do his domain justice. I'll put up the screen caps here when I'm done.

Aunt Red can you try to make your visits more pleasant?

2008-12-13T19:49:00.005+08:00

I'm not feeling very good today. Blame 2nd day visits from Aunt Red. And a host of other things I would rather not say here.

This video FREAKED ME OUT. He should be a Stephen King character or something, weirdo. I subscribe to Chris Crocker because he's just so eccentric but after this video I'm getting rid of my subscription.

If you don't know who he is, he's the dude who cried "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE" on youtube. He wants to be Britney. Seriously. And yes, he's a guy.

In all weirdness at least it cheered me up a bit in a twisted kind of way.

Mom's lasagna is calling. I want to make some yummy honey lemon tea and fill up two hot water bottles and crawl in my bed reading Harry Potter and listening to Ace of Base. Boys, you're super lucky you don't have periods. Mine sucks sometimes. Oh well, wombs give us babies so I shouldn't complain (but then again it really wrecks my mood *wails*). Sigh.

Work is done! Time for some creative productivity!

2008-12-12T22:01:00.002+08:00

What makes me happy, is usually productivity. Because when I'm busy, I don't have to ponder on things that I'd rather not think about. And focus on the things I can work on.

So I'm thrilled I finished my one month job at the firm today without any problems. I'm going back on Monday for a while to pick up my cheque. My boss is learning how to speak Spanish, so I'm giving her a book that my mom bought about speaking spanish for beginners so I hope she will like it. She's more like a sister to me nowadays. But I don't dare share my personal life with her though she's in my facebook. I keep it to myself most of the time, or share it with my best friends.

I'm free now! Yay!! Being the productive busy bee that I am, I've made a list of things I plan to do during my one week work-free semester break:

1) Going out with my girls to catch up the things I missed

2) Finish my first orange quilt and proceed with the next project. I'm thinking of making a quilted pencil case.

3) Organize my sewing area. I have a folder-full of patterns for baby clothes and adult clothes from the 70's, my mom bought those in the States (McCalls). I still haven't figured out how to organize them neatly so I can easily look for them when I want to use them. I should get new sewing books as well to stock up my references section. But still broke at the moment. Take a look at this cool sewing studio (note: There's a gorge pink iMac on the table too! No fair, they went inside my brain and found out how I want my studio to look like and copied it!)

I can spend hours and hours sewing if my studio looked anything like that!

4) Going to Titiwangsa to take pictures. I love that park. There's the lovely lovely lily pond I love looking at when I walk around the park. Beautiful

5) Service Holly and wash her as well. She's all dirty!

6) Return my overdue library books.

7) Discovering the joys of podcasts. Especially from fellow craft enthusiasts.

8) Updating my music library. I have to delete songs I don't listen to anymore. And listen to two rediscovered 90's music (Ace of Base and The Cranberries are waiting to be played over and over again in my playlist)

9) Finish designing and uploading his website on his newly bought domain

10) Have some quality 'me' time (just me, yoga and enjoying the morning sunshine)

I'm very happy with my new founded blogger freedom. I'm now more eager to blog with a perky, personalised layout I like looking at. With my old blogs I didn't feel fulfilled because I hated using generic templates. Now I'm back on my full throttle blogging mode again. Yay!

Time to shower. I'm so happy I spent my holidays very well, I've been in an excellent mood all month. Triple yay!

Warm hearts

2008-12-11T07:28:00.004+08:00

Like my new layout? The last one was XML and I had little design freedom with it though it enables the use of Widgets. I'm now using the old blogger because it gives me complete control on how I want my blog to look like. Sorry the fonts are small, but do bear with me.

Today I read Farah's LJ (sorry can't link, it's friends only anyway) and I was saddened by her narrations of the Bukit Antarabangsa tragedy. She lost all her cats and she's beyond sad and scared to think about what happened to them. After reading I immediately smsed her telling her I pray Allah will help her go through this (most definitely) and said sometimes His tests are given so we can be stronger. She replied saying I always know how to make her feel better. That made my day. She's not really close with me but I do know what's going on in her life and I greet her when we bump into each other in uni. I really hope she'll go through this flawlessly.

I miss my girls. Noi's back from Singapore, my friends from other universities are on holiday so they want to go out with me. I have to cram my work free holidays for outings and my sewing projects. I'm starting to miss holidays at the moment. I can't wait to finish on Monday and do the things I want to do. Work-less week, do wait for me!

Yesterday my mom didn't cook and went to the hospital with nenek. My adik was super hungry. So I rummaged through the fridge and freezer and made easy peasy mee hoon Tom Yam. I took the opportunity to use Darla. Can't resist!

I hate Knorr cubes! Tastes like melted lead or plastic. Adabi paste works better. And I discovered the joy of using bottled lime juice. Tom Yam is dead easy to make, throw in a bunch of ingredients and let it boil and you're done! I put lots of prawns, fishballs, mushrooms and tomatoes. My adik complimented it, my nenek said it was too sour, my mom didn't say anything, just ate.

Okay have to prepare my lunchbox. I'm bringing leftover satay, nasi impit and kuah kacang today.

A new member of the Pink Mafia family!

2008-12-07T18:08:00.005+08:00

The family basically consist of pink gadgets I own. With the exception of Holly, she's silver. And yes she's a vehicle not a gadget (I will never own a pink car unless its VW or Swift. I hate cars that are repainted in garish colors, including MY pink!). And Lola, she's a mish mash of dull computer colors.

Let me introduce to you my 'family' of worldly items:

1) Holly Golightly - My silver Kancil manual car with pink and black cushions at the back, pink bathroom mats on the gunshot and driver's seat, pink tissue box, pink umbrella and a cute doll hanging on the rearview mirror.

2) Lola - My battered and overworked computer. Windows XP Professional Service Pack 2. Asus is an excellent brand. My PC is 8 years old and still working fine although slow.

3) Elle - My hot pink Motorola V3 Razr cellphone. I'm so happy with it I don't even want to change models.

4) Bridget - My pink creative Zen Stone Plus mp3 player. I carry my entire Stars collection of albums in this cute and pink little thing.

5) And the new baby is:

....Darla, my new Olympus FE 360 digital camera! It's in hot pink people!

I bought number 3,4,5 completely using my own money and I'm happier than ever. With my own sweat and tears (cewah). My mom (as fully predicted) will borrow it when she goes to Dubai for a week, for her work. She's paying rental (she's the one who offered!) because its my camera and once she gets the hang of it she will buy her own. They gave me a free 2GB memory card and instead of paying RM700 for the lot (The memory card was RM99, I checked and the camera set was RM599) I paid only RM550!

So I'm a happy mom! (jakun yes, but jakun because I don't get to buy things like this all the time since I have to save for it :) So I'm happy for the simple reason I can't believe I managed to get one for myself)

I can't wait to start taking pictures and showing it off here. I want to do some quilting but I've been fiddling with the camera ever since I finished charging the battery. I got distracted! Tonight I'm making some peach jellies for my uncle and aunt. I'm visiting them tomorrow after solat raya. Maybe after that I will start quilting.

Nenek ordered 300 cucuks of chicken satay for us to eat. I can feel the fat on my thighs..

Happy Eid Adha everyone. Enjoy free Qurban beef, but do remember to make our own sacrifices, for the sake of Islam. And I guarantee you the rewards will include free Qurban beef, and much much more. Insya Allah.

I'll have her for another day

2008-12-06T20:50:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulillah Allah spared my best friend for 9 years and her family from the Bukit Antarabangsa landslide.

Some pictures of the area. Credit to the Star.

Meet my bestie Hana

She's the one person I always trust with anything at all. Known me for years. She understands how my mind works, sometimes more than I do. And at moments you seem to have lost your sense of self, it helps to have someone like her around. I may not have a million friends or "loved" ones, but I am never deprived of support and warmth whenever I need it. The very few in my life, are those who REALLY matter to me. No superficial crap like in pretentious high school movies. It's been the same best friend from my tween years to my young adulthood. Just what every girl needs. Thank God she's safe.

Her family and herself are currently safe at their old apartment, alhamdulillah its nearby. They had to walk to get there and now they're settling down. She left her cats at the old house except for the sick ones. I hope her home will be okay. They're expecting subsequent effects because the land around is still unstable.

Another friend, Farah Intan had her house destroyed. I'm glad she's also fine though her bungalow is now buried under a gigantic pile of dirt.

I hope they will be able to pull through this. Allah does not give you strength when you are strong enough, but surprises you during the toughest times of your life, when you are at your weakest. His test is also a blessing, a sign that He wants you to be closer, and to remember Him.

Creative juices are flowing

2008-12-05T22:14:00.006+08:00

Work was boring as watching paint dry today. Okay, not to that extent. But you get the picture. I was alone in the office for a few hours in the morning and I didn't have any letters to type, any bills to calculate, any agreements to edit or any summons to complete. I just had me, the internet and the phone. I answered calls (which were like, 5? Hello? People on holiday already?) and did some surfing. Okay, a LOT of surfing. When my colleagues came back from Shariah Court I was pleased. But I still had too much time on my hands. My boss came in around 4:30pm and suddenly waved instructions to me. I had to stay back for half and hour to complete what she asked me to do.

Dato' gave us duit raya. Yipee! And I'm invited to her son's wedding. I have to go hunt for decent baju kurung for the event. It's held at a hotel in PJ. My boss wants me to work an extra day so I finish on the 15th instead.

This raya I will be busy crafting and hunting down digital cameras. I can't wait to continue my quilting project and I'm also buying yarn and embroidery thread to start knitting and embroidering. What I would love, is a new sewing machine. Mine is just too old, though its working fine. Maybe something like this:

But fat chance on having that sold here. It is on auction on ebay but the hassle of ordering and waiting always puts me off.

I just lovee crafting. I wish I can be a legal executive who sews her own curtains, upholster her own sofas, bakes shortbread cookies for her friends' dinner parties and sends handmade greeting cards to her friends every festive occasion. I'm a bit like Bree actually, I like the domestic perfection. I love the American family life, everything is done on your own. Using your own imagination and being self-sufficient.

Anyway I have an idea. If my skills are improved (in crafting that is) and people are interested (have no idea about this) I want to sew stuff and give them away for free. That would be awesome for me.

And who knows I can even sell them one day, the big important and tedious pieces? Hehe.

I'm going out on a digital camera hunt today. Of course, the most important to me is that it must be affordable, easy to use, takes pretty pictures and in my kinda pink. The pink part is the deal maker! Oh and I need to get some supplies too. For my quilt and get some yarn. If I can find knitting needles, would be perfect. I want to get a new sewing case too. I hate the current plastic one I'm using. Something like this would be ideal:

Photographs by Julie Thompson

Maybe I can get a similar metal ones they usually sell and use decoupage glue just like she did. That would be awesome. Next is to find out where to get such glue.

Sometimes I have so many ideas I can't breathe!

Litigation is tedious work

2008-12-03T22:44:00.004+08:00

WARNING: Legal ramblings ahead!

Tomorrow is a sort of big day for our firm because there's a hearing for a case of breach of contract/constructive dismissal. My legal assistant colleague will be representing the client, and she's hell nervous.

The thing is, there's no hope of winning but the client is just so degil. We tried hard to look for precendents in various journals, but not much to support our side. My boss even tells us she expects to be yelled at when she and the LA appears, because its clear cut and simple and there's not much to say.

I finally finished 11 'Saman Pemula Exparte' for Probate/Pengendalian Harta Pusaka Tanpa Wasiat (main hentam saje haha) cases and I'm exhausted. It took me a week to get it perfectly done, now all that's left is printing and arranging, sending it to the parties for execution and filing it in court. We can't file all at once so must do it one by one. I'm all sick with originating summons at the moment.

Litigation is tedious, you have to be extremely detailed just to complete a simple summons and bundle of pleadings, one error can cause you to be yelled at by the Judge, then by your boss, then by your client. Do you envy lawyers now? I don't. That's why I lost interest in litigation a long time ago. I don't understand why I should put up with cranky judges, dumb and stubborn clients who think we can get them ANYTHING, and bosses who asks us to do things that we're not used to only to have us yelled at when we do it wrongly.

Conveyancing is also tedious but its better to be yelled at by the clerks at the Land Office/Lembaga Hasil rather than be humiliated in an open court in front of the lawyers on the opposite side, in front of clients, in front of reporters! GAH!! If I suddenly decide to be a litigation lawyer, then I seriously have managed to thicken the skin on my face.

Today my boss treated us lunch at Rina's (I ate my much missed menu of nasi with ikan pari asam pedas and kangkung goreng with teh ais) because Shafiq came for a visit. Then the auditing firm upstairs came to give us chocolate and banana cake. Then my boss left to go to the bank and came back with fresh paus. We eat a lot in this firm. Sometimes Dato' comes in and treats us to lunch too. And while I was with them for 3 months, they treated me for my birthday, Kak Su's birthday, 3 farewell parties, food after ceramah, snacks during office hours, goreng pisang if we go to court..phew! And that's the things I can remember!

I'm easily tired after I come home. So I'm off to bed now.

Time flies

2008-12-02T02:40:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulillah I managed to pass my 4th year 1st Semester. I was worried sick about my procedural papers. I'm awfully glad I passed although my CGPA is down 0.02 points.

I was reading my old blogs (I store them in my computer since I took them off the webspace ages ago) and it seems just yesterday I was worried about my UPU application and whether I will get accepted to IIUM Law.

It's been years. Now I'm graduating next semester (insya Allah) with an LLB in my hands. The future is not so uncertain for me, I always know what to do with it though I might not get what I want. I'm not afraid of it anymore, I am embracing it. I guess working in the firm made me confident and assured that I can survive life outside school. Now I have to think about where to do my chambering. My boss always tells me she's ready to accept me at any time but I'm also wondering if I should apply to a different firm.

Knowing that I will be earning my own money soon gives me comfort. Independence is something I truly want. I'm thankfull I am not spoiled. Being spoiled to some people means it's a privilege. But to me, I really would rather work my ass off to get what I want rather than have it shoved in front of my face the moment I tell my parents' about it. The satisfaction level is priceless.

My boss is giving me a few days extra for me to enjoy the holidays because she wants me to relax. I'm supposed to finish after a month but she gave me a few days off to kick start my one week work free holidays. Isn't it funny? She keeps on saying "Don't you want your holiday?" when she asked if I would like to come work for the firm last month. Shows that I am a workaholic to the point that my own boss worries about me. I finish work on the 12th.

What do I plan to do for one week? Sew stuff. I'm also hunting for digital cameras. I really want the Sony T2 Pink camera (the older version) but I really need to think about it thoroughly before buying. I'm going to use my salary if I decide to buy.

I should sleep. I've got a million Originating Summons for Probate to complete tomorrow. Till next time!

Quilting and Pink Mafias.

2008-11-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

I got sick of wordpress because I can't customize the layout. Boo.

And I also wanted a new start. I thought of not making this blog known, but then I decided to just do what I want. Don't want to care anymore. At least I can make my mark here with my own templates instead of using generic boring ones. I used to use blogger during my website days. I started very early, when I was just 14. I could spend hours in front of my computer just designing images and figuring out codes. I met a lot of my right now internet friends during that time. I'm pretty much a tech geek.

I took the idea of my new blog from my car's sticker I just purchased last weekend with the girls. It's a cute small square sticker in black and pink and it says The Pink Mafia. I thought it sounded like me, so I bought it immediately. I'm using it as a blog name now.

I searched Pink Mafia in Google and look what I found from Urban Dictionary:

1. pink mafia

Refers to the wife/girlfriend, specifically when their intervention causes the loss of leisure time or other assumed freedoms.
Joe: So, you still comin' out tonight?
Bob: Naw man, got too drunk last night.
Joe: Oh.......pink mafia?
Bob: Yep.

2. pink mafia

A group of lesbians or feminists that plot the downfall of all male with a tenacity of a wolverine mother protecting her cubs.
Joey: What the fuck is wrong with those dykes?
Bob: Didn't you know they are part of the pink mafia.

I am either of that of course, but IT'S JUST SO EFFING COOL. I like the first one. Sounds like what all women would do when they're married.

I choose it because I love pink, but I'm not innocent and I never pretended to be one. I am a feisty bitch when you give me a reason to start showing that side of me, but in general I am quite 'sunny' and vibrant. It suits me perfectly, the two words combined together.

So welcome to my new blog. The Pink Mafia can be linked, but please ask for permission. If I linked you, means you have my permission to link me back. Hope you'll enjoy my musings as much as I love writing them.

This weekend I was determined to do something that requires the use of a needle and thread. So I decided to introduce myself to quilting. I haven't finished anything yet, it's still in early baby stages, but I figured out pretty color and pattern combinations. All thanks to nenek's quilting materials. She used to do some quilting back then, but now she's too lazy. She dumped the things she didn't use yet on top of my sewing supplies pile, in a small tupperware case. Inside the box there's a book on quilting, cotton fabric in plain colors and flowery patterns for quilting and a photocopied template of classic quilting patterns. I didn't have time previously, but since now I have mind numbingly boring weekends, its the perfect time to start being crafty.

I took pictures of my little 'sewing studio' and the stuff I'm using to make the quilt since I don't have a quilt just yet. I must warn you, its nothing fancy, and everything I own is pretty much older than me. As usual, the pictures are not stellar.

My sewing machine is really a fossil. It belonged to my grandmother's grandmother. And it still works perfectly. I do wish I had a new one, but for now this will do. I made my collection of pantsuits, tops, baju kurung, kebaya with this machine. A good heirloom.

The references I'm using 1) The Complete Guide to Handicrafts (I bought this book at a second hand book store for RM50 only. Current books like this costs hundreds. Lovely guide) 2) Modern Patchwork (was inside my nenek's tupperware case. Gave me a lot of ideas on quilting) 3) Golden Hands magazines (this is actually a collection of magazines that teach you to sew, knit, embroider, quilt, the works. My grandfather bought it every week for my nenek, but at that time she wasn't interested so he stopped. I wish I had the full colletion of 75 magazines)

I'm making a small table runner for my computer table with the fabrics shown above. I have to admit, its getting addictive. I'll show you how it looks like when its finished if it turns out great.

That's all for now. I need to sleep. Please come again!