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My raya has always been different from everyone elses. I guess I'm just someone who's different, and its not even because I try to be. I just am.

For starters, my mom doesn't do any cooking the eve of Raya. She used to bake cookies, but now since I don't eat them as much as before, she's too lazy (and our electric oven busted). No one's busy hanging new curtains. No one's weaving any ketupat. My nenek used to cook, but now she just orders hundreds of satay and boil a bunch of nasi impit. Rendang and everything else, my aunts will bring over when they come. I don't even have a baju raya this year, its the baju kurung I wore during our Graduation Dinner. I did go shopping, but I bought work clothes.

Every morning I'll get ready and go to my Dad's place. This year my Dad's working at the school (he's a security guard there). So I pick him up there, send him to the Mosque for Eid prayers and when its over I'll pick him up again with my brother to go to my Pak Ngah's house. It's not ever a house, its a warehouse where he works.  We eat and talk for a while, then I send my Dad back to the school, me and my brother goes home.

At 5:30pm I'll lace up my running shoes, and head to the park for a long run. My brother runs with me, his pace his faster but he can only run six rounds. I did 12 and my pace was steady. Took me 40 minutes but I did it. After that we pick my dad up and go to KLCC to catch a movie, then send him back to his guard post. He basically works around the clock this festive season.

The next day I meet up with my Aunt and cousins at Pavilion where she would treat me for a movie and lunch, and I'd watch my cousins shop (what else does one do when she's broke?).

I don't balik kampung (my kampung is KL anyway) I do visit relatives but limited. And I spend most of my holidays in shopping malls, movie theatres and at home in front of the PC or running in the park. That's how it is. Maybe I secretly prefer it this way. I'm dead if I get to marry a man with a traditional Malay background, because I haven't been trained to cope with the traditional way of celebrating Eid. My mom tells me I should get a foreigner, because they don't care about Eid as much as Malays do, and it suits us better (plus she's scared of Malay mother-in-laws). I'm not saying I'm some kind of snob, but its just how I was raised. I'm just too different in a bad way. I'm not used to tradition. I'm scared of criticisms about my upbringing if I end up with traditional in-laws. 

Today my brother is working, my mom is watching MJ videos (please don't ask!) on her laptop in her room, and I plan on staying home doing nothing but reading the books I borrowed and surfing. I'll go for a run later in the evening.

I sure hope whoever my future husband is (if its him then I know he doesn't care at all) he would be forgiving of my lack of tradition, and his family wouldn't be too hard on me if I don't know how to prepare for eid. 

Having said that, Eid Mubarak everyone! Don't eat too much!

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You know your life rocks when..

1. You have a fat envelope full of documents you need to complete for your new job. The fact that you get to skip dreary, stressful chambering and join a corporation (who is ready to accept you though you don't have much experience) is joy on its own.
2. You went to Dorothy Perkins to see if you're really a size 10 and discover you're actually a size 6-8. You didn't think it was biologically possible, and you stand in the dressing room looking in the mirror, shocked and happy at the same time.
3. You try on a slim fit MNG jeans tagged US 6 and it fits you
4. You head to Sogo with view to get yourself some new clothes for work and happily browse through the sales rack, looking for NON WHITE SHIRTS. The joy of wearing different colors and being creative with your wardrobe: Priceless!
5. You get to buy 4 shirts from good brands for around RM30 each, and a pair of good shoes for RM34. And your shirts are all tagged S.
6. You wanted to whine because your boyfriend didn't make a big fuss about you losing weight, but you realize it means he doesn't care. And you were reminded that he did love you the same when you were fat. So even when you're thin now, he doesn't love you more. He loves you the same.
7. You promised yourself that once you can run up and down the hill without stopping to walk you will start a marathon training program and eat a runners' diet. Today is the day you ran three times up and down the same hill. Your fitness level is optimal.
8. Your girlfriends make you laugh like mad, every day.
9. You have a stack of books to read before work starts (and you can't wait to read them).
10. Your room doesn't look like a pig sty (for now)

I miss doing lists like this. I'm sorry I'm so giddy nowadays. I can't help it. I'm loving life.

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If I can run every week, do hill sprints, have long easy runs, practice Pilates and yoga, or just hit the gym, I can weather anything.

I'm not going to lie and tell you it doesn't feel good to be a size 10 UK/8 US. It feels phenomenal that I'm finally in my goal size after being a 16 UK/14 US. My only complaint is that right now nothing fits me nicely and my new wardrobe is not here fast enough.

I just wanted to be in my best figure while I'm still young. And try to keep at it for as long as I can, especially after having kids. And also to be at my healthiest and fittest. To treat my body the way it deserves to be treated: With love and care.

Everytime I feel down and insecure, I look in the mirror, the scale, and the number on the measuring tape, and I'll feel better again. I know I've come a long way, and I deserve to love my body the way it is right now.

Because I'm really not that bad.

I have a week or so before I start work. Contrary to what some people might want to think and believe, I am very happy as of this moment. Sure it won't last forever, but feeling like this, right now, is more than enough for me. I'm fine with living life like this, much more happier.

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Before I even managed to blog about my life as a pupil, I am ready to withdraw my petition for admission as Advocate and Solicitor.


You see, a month and a half ago a company providing water for Selangor and Kuala Lumpur (check out your water bills, the logo of two (i think!) drops of water is right on top of the bill, as header) called me for an interview. I didn't apply directly for the position. I went to the huge Career Fair at PWTC and handed my resume to them, thinking 'Oh what the hell, they won't call but I just need to get rid of all the resumes I photocopied'. It's probably the most unlikeliest place for people to find a job because the companies have to go through millionshundreds of resumes handed carelessly without any covering letter or result transcripts. I mean, the odds were pretty low right? Or so I thought


I remember asking the guy at the booth whether they take law graduates, and he explained yes, and its rare for them to get law graduates. So I handed him my CV, and so did the person who went with me. Around a month later, they sent me an email inviting me for an interview with them. I was surprised! It was for a position I never thought I would be called for, which is Industrial Relations Executive. So I agreed to go, went through two levels of interview and one written test on how to draft a charge. There were two other candidates with me, both already working for at least 2 years. One already did her pupillage and is now practising, one is working for the Companies Commission of Malaysia.


During the interview, I did pretty ok. I couldn't answer some of the questions they asked, all related to employment law and industrial relations law. I was honest, I don't know much about it except the things I learned during my one month internship in a Human Resources Department of a company specialising in cars and motorsports (its right in front of the road leading to One Utama/The Curve, big glass building nearby TTDI). They assured me they plan on taking fresh graduates like me too, but after a month went by I didn't hear any news so I gave up on that and commenced my pupillage.


Two days ago while I was with Hana, sending my Malaysian Bar forms with her, they called me and told me they want to offer me. I was surprised! I was reminded that they told me processing takes a long time because they need to submit proposals to the Managing Director before they can hire me. I'm happy they wanted me, albeit a little doubtful whether I should continue with my pupillage or take the job. That took me quite a while but I did tell them I'll take it.


I decided to take it because (1) I never liked the idea of practising, especially NOT litigation. My Civil Procedure results were terrible! (2) The pay and benefits are pretty good for someone who has no experience in Industrial Relations (3) Its a well known company and it'll look great in my work history (4) I get to dump chambering which I was reluctant to do in the first place (5) I need to support my family so with that salary, it wouldn't be a problem (6) It's an extremely interesting field that requires my knowledge on Criminal Procedure, Evidence besides Employment law. So it won't be boring at all.


So though people might say, 'Do your chambering first! Then you are more marketable' or as my beloved Professional Practice lecturer would scold me if he knew 'LLB without chambering is like marriage without consummation!'. But I beg to differ. I would be more marketable after pupillage if I wanted a job as Legal Advisor, but that is not what I want. This job is not as dry as drafting contracts and agreements or doing endless research (though I do love doing it). It's full of action, I get to investigate claims and accusations and use my knowledge in Criminal Law. I can avoid the horror of going to court and getting yelled at by the Judge, my client, my boss. I can avoid long stressfull hours in the office. I can wear whatever I like, in whatever color I want, and not just dreary and dull black and white suits.


Practising requires interest, and without it you just feel really miserable. Sure it sounds all glam but its not for me. Plus, I plan on taking an MBA next, so a job in Industrial Relations is more appropriate.

I'm not saying it'll be a joyride, because this is a real job not training like pupillage, but I have a feeling I'll love it. The corporate world is challenging and full of surprises. Plus I need to observe my KPI just like your average person with an EPF/SOCSO account. But at the very least, I only have one person to answer to, which is my boss. No judge, no partner, no client. And that's why it's less stressful.


They wanted me to start immediately because they thought I was jobless (I didn't tell them I'm doing my pupillage) but I requested to be on duty after Raya, and they agreed. So tomorrow I'll be in court withdrawing my petition, and waving pupillage goodbye, for now. I don't know if I would do my pupillage in future, but its probably unlikely since from the day I graduated, it has been my last resort.


Allah surprises us sometimes. Maybe because I accepted whatever He wanted to give me, He decided to give me what I wanted and I can't tell Him how much I'm grateful for His Blessings. Alhamdulillah.


So here's to the end of my pupillage. For those of you who are doing it, keep going and stay strong. I may not be a suitable lawyer, but Malaysia does need lawyers like you.


I leave you with this:

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Growing up means accepting. And I learned that the hard way.

I wanted to escape from doing my pupilage, but Allah didn't think it was a good idea for me so He didn't allow me to. I was too stubborn to realize that. I jumped from one job to the next, attended a number of interviews, with a lot of promise but with no results. I faced rejections, but I didn't give up. I kept going. Finally when I realized I need to earn a living for my sick mom who can't work anymore, I decided to do my pupillage with a medium sized firm. And I start this Monday.

I learned so many things during my newly found independence. Like how sometimes you can't always get the things you want but it doesn't mean you're not allowed to dream. Or to never let anyone put you down and treat you less than how you deserve to be treated. How to handle difficult people in the workplace and cope with a job that makes you feel hopeless and unaccomplished. I learned all that these few months. And I am so thankful I did.

I'm looking forward to my pupillage, my master is a grumpy old chinese man. During the interview, he asked limited questions and took me on the spot after 15 minutes of very basic questions. Its not a very popular firm, not in the same league as the giants that is Skrine and Zaid Ibrahim, but its not too shabby at all. I can see chances to learn and grow there so I'm very excited and happy. I don't care if people yell at me, I'm happy I get to prove myself there. Can't wait!

As for everything else in my life, let's just say I'm moving on. I have the ones who truly care for me right by my side, and that's all that matters. Life is getting simpler, and much much more pleasant.

For now I want to focus on my pupillage, my relationship with my Creator, those closest to me and making sure my mom is happy. Everything else is taking a back seat.

Happy Ramadhan everyone! Remember to take it easy during iftar and don't go overboard. And talk to Allah more often. Insya Allah we all will achieve the greatest of blessings this month.

Labels: Islam, personal, work

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